Class is in session...

Well here it is...my long awaited, much anticipated and highly criticized Blog debut. I am strictly doing this for my fans...those that have supported me over the years...I love you all. Seriously now, this is pretty much...much to do about nothing. I have decided that all the strange and bizarre revelations that I have about life need to be put down in writing. More and likely they will not be read, but as I get older, my mind is leaving with my youth and my hair, so more importantly I need one spot where I can go to remember all the great things I have learned about life.
The title of my Blog comes from my Dr. Phil, our 5 year old son. Everything you need to know about life, you can learn from a 5 year old. They put everything in perspective. The women folk in our house like to sleep in on Saturday mornings, which the son and I usually have that time to ourselves. It is a time we can have some male bonding. You know, see who can pass gas the loudest, who's burps smell the worst and ponder such things how they make those Cin-a-minis at Burger King...(little tiny cinnamon goodness wrapped up in such a cute little roll and yes the two of us use our fingers to clean out the frosting tub). You know, those things only a Father and Son can truly appreciate.
I am married to the love of my, 10 years. Met and dated high school and married after college. Time sure has flown by, pretty much causing us to look back and wonder where it has all gone. (Everybody says that, sorry, not much of a revelation there, these will get better, I promise) Life has happened.
I was really fortunate to know my great-grandparents...they were married for like a hundred years...pretty sure it was that long. I can remember when my great-grandmother had a stroke (she was wonderful woman, made killer Chef-Boyarde Raviolli and peanut butter cookies)and my great grandfather took care of her...that was the love and pride of his life. I can remember sitting on the vinyl couch in their living room when I was about 15-16 years old thinking...I hope I find some that I can spend the rest of my life with like this.
Lesson 1 - Marriage
Our son told my wife the other day that our daughter is the princess, he is the prince, Daddy is the King and Mommy is a kingly member...you go boy...Not sure exactly what he meant by that but we thought it was funny. Maybe its because I rule my house like a King or the kids get treated like royalty, not real sure...That's not really the way things work at our house, but over the years of observation I have realized a few truths about marriage.
1. Never get into an argument. Sounds easy enough, right? It is okay to have disagreements, that is a normal part of life. Arguments and disagreements are two different animals. When someone is trying to argue a point, there tends to be a lack of respect for the other persons opinion. I'm right, your are wrong. Aretha knew what she was talking about. That is what marriage is all about just like any relationship, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. (Good thing you this doesn't have audio). I can respect you and disagree with you at the same time. If you have to raise your voice to make a point, double check your point, because you may be raising your voice may just be making up for the lack of validity. Frustration is a normal part of disagreeing, that's why Men have the garage and Women have the master bedroom...places for each person to cool off, and sometimes it allows you to put things in perspective.
2. Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. When you get married we say these crazy words that are officially called vows. In there I pretty sure it says something about trust. Trust does not equal ignorance...after your spouse goes to the Casino and your credit cards are maxed out, there is a problem. Trust that your spouse has you and your family's best interest in mind. Truly if your spouse loves you and the family they would not do anything to hurt you. We all do absent minded selfish things every now and again, we are all human. It so much easier to forgive, if you trust.
3.Try to impress your spouse. Get back to the basics. When we all tried to land ourselves a mate...we paid attention to detail. We washed behind our ears, made sure we masked our body odor, dressed nice, ect. I can honestly say that after knowing my wife for about 16 years, I still try to impress her. I know, I know...you can't do it all the time. I go to another room to pass gas, and it lingers for a while and she catches it, or I don't wear matching clothes to go work on the car...it happens, but make a concerted effort. I know I don't look as good as I did when we first got married so I need to make up for it somehow. It shows you still care.
4.Allow your spouse to have some alone time. As much as I know my wife likes to hang out with me all the time, and I enjoy her company just as much...its good to have some alone time. I sometimes take the long way home from work, just to unwind from the day, that way when I get home I can take the kids downstairs to play while my wife relaxes for a few moments. Recharge the batteries.
5. Read your spouse. This is hard to do. My wife has good body language.(Hey now this is a family show...) I know when she is frustrated and conversely she can tell when things are not going smooth for me. This is teamwork in action. She spends the entire day with the kids, and all the household duties, and I spend the day working with grown adults, who seem to act like kids. We both have tough and demanding jobs. I have a good job that allows her to spend her time with our kids, and she is able to devote her time to raising those kids to the best of her God given ability. Both jobs are very important in making the family work. When you make the playing field equal, it is easier to read your spouse. After all you are partners. Step in and give your spouse a hand when they need it. If everyone is a giver eventually you will be a receiver. Remember the little things matter.
6. You and your spouse will have a life after the kids are gone...take care of your spouse today. Nothing in this world bothers me more than when I hear a married parent say, "My kids are the most important thing in my life..." I can remember like it was yesterday, I was a know it all teenager that decided to give my mother the knowledge that I felt she needed to know. I can remember my stepdad stepping in and lighting me up like a roman candle, but he said something that has been my motto in marriage since day one. It went a little something like this..." When your mother and I got married, WE married each other. I didn't marry you kids. You were a wonderful addition to the marriage, but I married your mother and love her very much and I love you very much,we will always love you but one day you will not live under our roof and it will just be me and your mother, and that relationship is what matters most. Mom and I will be together forever." I am sure I'm a little off on the exact dialoge, but I got the idea. If your marriage is strong, raising the kids is just an added blessing. If you are married and have kids, the relationship with your spouse is much more important than that with your children. Because that relationship with the children will fall in line if they see you have unconditional love for each other.

Well this wraps up today's session class, there will be a test on Tuesday... These are just a few things that I have learned that I have to keep reminding myself. Tons more where that came from, just need to find it. I guess a may waste some more of my time putting more stuff into words. Look for me on the New York Times Best Sellers List...you won't find me but anyways...I'm pulling for ya, and with each others help we can do this.