Josiahisms 101

I would like to start off today with an apology. I did not mean to be so serious on my first ever attempt at "blogging." (Hold on, by the way, what kind of word is blog anyways, how did it make it into our vocabulary. I mean this word is so important that it not only is a noun but also deserves verb variants? When I was a kid this was called journaling or writing in a diary, but no, some computer geek decided that he would make up his own word... another version of revenge of the nerds.) Sorry this is not what today's entry is about...It usually only takes small shiny objects that make noise to distract me from the task at hand. Like I said in the beginning this is a place for me to keep track of many of insightful things that are taught to me through whatever God puts in my path. Today is just a small journal of some of the insight that my son has into life..those of you close to me already know many of these stories, because they make me so proud, well some of them...

Josiah on spaceships... On pretty fall day when Josiah was 3, we were drawing out on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. (I try to use the kids to get out of about any chore I can..) Josiah is a pretty good artist for his age...so he decided to draw some space ships. Daddy thought it would be a good idea to draw some planets...then I asked Josiah, "What are the spaceships doing?" He looked at me with all seriousness (remember he is 3) "Daddy we need to couple the spaceships together." In a state of disbelief I asked him if he knew what coupling meant. With all the confidence in the world, "Daddy that means putting them together." I called Harvard that evening...

Josiah on cookies... Josiah went for a ride up to Dayton with his Uncle Don. Little did we all now that Uncle Don had a private stash of cookies in his truck. While traveling Josiah and Uncle Don decided to raid the stash of cookies. After eating a couple of cookies, Josiah asked Uncle Don if he could have some more cookies. Uncle Don was concerned and told Josiah that he did not want him to get a tummy ache. "Uncle Don, I'll be okay, I won't eat the chocolate chips...I'll just eat the cookie part...cause its just like bread and bread is good for you."

Josiah on suckers... Josiah and I were going through the drive thru at the bank, and just like anyother time, the teller sent him a sucker. The sucker was a strawberry, or some kind of fruit flavor. "Daddy the root beer suckers are not good for you, but the fruit flavored ones are because they have fruit in them..."

Josiah on age... Josiah and I were traveling down the highway, from no where Josiah says, "Daddy your almost the same age as Jesus." Now, I know children's perception of time is a lit off, but I thought this to be a little excessive. Me the same age as Jesus? "Daddy, you are almost 33." He got me.

Josiah on football.. My friend and I took our son(s) to an Arena Football game. The kids seemed more interested in getting cotton candy than the game, but they were having a good time watching people pound each other. What red blooded American male doesn't enjoy that? The third quarter came to a close and it was already 10:30. Long after the boys bed time, so we decided to leave. On our way out my friend and I were about 1/2 way down the tunnel when we realized the boys weren't walking with us. We turned around and the boys were standing at the railing watching the field intensely. "Come on guys, its time to go" we told them. They replied, " But Daddy the Cheerleaders are out." They figure it out at such a young age, and you don't even have to teach 'em.

Josiah on corn... We got home one night and some friends of ours had left some fresh corn hanging on the front door. (We love corn on the cob at our house so anytime you wanna drop some by, get with me after the show and I'll give you our address.) Anyhow, Josiah went up to the bag of corn, pulled out two of them. Stuck one in each ear, turned to his Mommy, "Mommy, do you want to pick my ears..." That's pretty good for a 5 year old. We are working out a deal with the Comedy Channel for a one hour special...

Josiah on the wonderful things in life... This is by far, hands down (no pun intended), the funniest and proudest moment as a father. As many funny family stories start out, we made a family trip to Wal-Mart. While in Wal-Mart we went to hosiery section to pick out hose for my wife. ( I despise the word panty by the way...That's why it was purposefully omitted.) Now me, being the wonderful husband who has no pride or dignity left as a male, was helping my wife pick out hose...looking for colors and sizes. Comparing price and quality, you know all that stuff you do as a neutered married male. After getting excited about finding a three pack of multi-colored (black, white and nude) on clearance for $1.99, I had realized that Josiah wasn't next to me anymore. He had been in the center isle looking at backpacks. I peaked my head around the corner and Josiah was scrunched down by an end cap. He had both hands perfectly cupped around a DD bra, one in each hand. In shock, I told him to stop that. "But Daddy" he replied, " I just wanted to touch them, because they are soft and squishy." Dare him to try that line when he grows up...he'll get plenty of black eyes.

There is plenty more were this came from...my feeble mind just can't remember them all. I am sure I will be adding more. I never ran away to join the circus, I was to lazy to run away, instead I just created my own. Thanks for listening.