that's what its all about...

Well I am back to this blog thing again. Josiah had his first trip to the hospital. Both Ella and Josiah's first trips to the hospital they both split the old noodle open...they are definitely my kids. I have a great track record of busting up my head, the thing is just so big. I got the phone call that he had fallen at school and split open his head and that it was pretty bad. Not the words you really want to hear. Fortunately my wonderful bride was still at the school. So Mommy was there for the initial shock factor. Blood everywhere, nice. After I got over the anxiety on my way to the car to fly home meet them at home, so we could take him to the emergency room, the thought actually crossed my mind "hope he didn't get much blood on the school uniform, those shirts are expensive." Now mind you I am not proud of that. That's why I actually confessed that thought, and this is the foundation of my blog today. (Nice transition, I know...)

From the day we found that the stick had the appropriate number of lines to confirm our fears and joy, my perspective has changed a bit. Think of all the little bumps and bruises, heartache, sleepless nights and fears you had a child, we all have lists of stories. Everyday, for Josiah and Ella is one of those days that something like that could happen. My wife and I are the spectators. How our parents must have felt, the trips to the Emergency Room, getting up in the middle of night to take of bad dreams and coughs and sleepless nights. I know now. It breaks your heart, it truly stinks to see your child in pain, but it helps make them who they will become. Everything is just a little stepping stone. The part as a parent I don't like, is that you have to be the strong one. Truth be known, I am a big softie. Grown men do cry...by the way. When Josiah was on the table getting ready to get his stitches, 4 right in the eye brow, which is now swollen to the size of ping pong ball, he asked to hold my hand. I choked up a bit and gave him the normal words of encouragement. I had to put a hold on my emotions while I was watching the Doctor put in the stitches. He was a trooper until the last one. You could tell it hurt. The look of fear and pain on his face indelibly marked in my mind. He is okay and survived his first major stepping stone. Mommy didn't fair to well, she came as close to passing out with out going over. The Doctor was worried more about her than Josiah.
Funny thing about this whole episode, in retrospect I enjoyed this time with our son. I'm not some sicko. Let me explain. My wife and I learned that our son talks just as much when he is in pain than when he feels fine. This experience opened up Josiah to ask questions about Mommy and Daddy's accidents. At one point we were all alone in the Emergency room, the three of us showing off each others scars. He was intently listening to all of Mommy and Daddy's stories. Josiah showing us all his playground scars. At one point I was just sitting by his bed, he was just talking about some incident with one of his little scars and I had an epiphany. I could see clearly, nothing matters but what those little people think of you. When they look back on life, the material things, the toys and house and cars, kids really don't see wealth or status. They can see your true intentions. The number one thing they remember is the time spent. Whether it be having fun or in the hospital. Kids are smarter than we give them credit, sometimes. One of the fondest moments I ever had with my step-Dad was when he took me to the emergency room after I had hurt my hand playing soccer. (I know you are not supposed to use your hands...) I was a senior in high school and he took me to the emergency room at 11:00 at night. He had to get up for work at 3:30 in the morning. I just remember sitting in the waiting room, he was sitting in the chair and I was thinking he must really love me.

Its the number of "I Love you's", unconditional hugs, time spent playing and simply holding their hand that's what its all about. Not going out and buying them the latest toy or DVD. That stuff fades. They still remember "stuff", but when they get older they remember time spent not money. Maybe I'm just some sappy old guy with a couple of kids that have me wrapped around their little fingers, if thats the case...I like where I'm livin.