a little deep...

I want to start this off by saying, "I love my Mom & the mother of my children with all my heart." With that being said, I would like to dive into a small peeve of mine. I love my children just as much as my wife does. I understand that there is a bond between mother & child that no man can truly understand, but there is also a wonderful joy for a man to see someone he loves so deeply to have the joy of having a child. The miracle of life. I know this isn't always the case for most couples out there, which is what really bothers me. When my wife had a miscarriage, my heart broken that we were not having a child. There are men out there that could care less about their children, just as there are women who feel the same, but why is it that the man always gets the bad rap when it comes to children. I know there are men out there that don't deserve to be fathers and women who don't deserve to be mothers. Why is it that the woman always gets the benefit of the doubt. These feminist say that its the woman's body and that she has the choice. What really bothers me is that she has the choice, but the man has to live with the consequences of that choice. Last time I checked it takes two to tango. The woman can chose not to have the child, even if the man wants it and he has to live with it. If she has the child, the man has to pay child support to support the child. Please, I am so very against abortion. Children are a gift from the Creator, that need to be treated as such. That is not the issue I am trying to address. I understand that our society does tend to shortchange women in the professional world, but this is one area men definitely get the shortend of the stick. Maybe its just some of things some of my family is going through at this time that cause me to bring this up.
Side note: On a lighter note, lets talk about women's sports. I heard on the four let sports channel that some PGA women were upset about how much the PGA men get paid. The truth of the matter is that people have to be interested in your sport in order to generate revenue. This in turn translates in advertisement, sponsership, ect. Which all makes money. This money is then distributed to the players. Simple business model. A sport can be just about anything, two dudes bouncing a rubber ball in a parking lot can be fun for some people to watch, but definitely not everyone. They won't get the sponsorship dollars that the NFL gets, sorry. Women's sports unfortunately just has never caught on to the viewing public, mainly because men watch the majority of sports. My wife would think it strange if I told her,"honey I have to get home to watch the women's PGA Secret Invitational."

call your momma and daddy...

This is something that I firmly believe in. I call my mom every year on my birthday. Most of the time I call and just leave a message, thanking her for the whole birthing process. Thanks for being Mom. I also thank the Dad for allowing me to live through the teenage years. I know there are times he would have probably liked to hire a guy named Vince to work me over or send me to rest with the fishes. Wouldn't have blamed him. I think parents are like teachers in our society, not enough credit and too much criticism. Something to try, as a matter of fact it has almost become a fun sort of competition between my mom and I. Now she tries to call me first, watch out Mom, next July you are getting a call at 4 AM.

the blame game...

Welcome to these here United States, home of the free, land of the brave and where all the stupid people live. Sorry I really don't mean all of us are stupid, just some. This is a great place to be, would not want to live anywhere else. I love my country, just not every person in it. Let me clear this strange introduction up a bit. Our society is just full of people that are just plain stupid. (Josiah would correct me for saying the "s" word, it is not allowed at our house) It seems that we have raised a society of people that can not take resposibility for their own actions. We live in a sue happy world, if you are an American you know this well. Especially if you pay for any kind of insurance. The thing I find funny is that the woman that sued McDonalds because she could not hold on to her hot coffee and drive at the same time, was probably the same lady the day before complained that her coffee was to cold. We can never be happy.

Nothing in this world bugs me as much as people who blame their parents for the way their life turned out. Please, I understand that the way you are raised has a great impact on your life. This I believe to be gospel. Being a parent, now, I understand a bit better. I make mistakes daily as a parent, don't doubt that a bit. I am human, as we all are. The way I see it, if the good things out weigh the bad, then it was a sucessful day. It is the people who say, "I am this way because of my parents..." that really anoy me. Let me explain.
My parents were the greatest, in my opinion. Sure they made mistakes (the human thing), but not as many as I did as a child. They provided for me even when I more and likely didn't deserve it. They taught me how to live, love and laugh. The three important L's. Same thing with my wife's parents. They were awesome parents, not to mention they were great to me too. Our parents both struggled financially, of which we never had a clue as kids. We knew we weren't loaded, by the house we lived in and the cars we drove, but neither one of us ever fully understood the financial hardships our parents went through. God bless them for that. My wife and I had a big awakening when Josiah was born. We woke up one day and realized that we did not have a clue about money (still not sure I do). The point here is that we could both easily blame our parents for the way we treated money. After all we were emulating what they did. That would have been the easy way out, Mom & Dads fault. The way I see it, not true. The moment you recognize that you have a problem, is the moment you take ownership of that problem. It doesn't matter who, what, when or where, the moment you realize the problem, you and only you are the one that will be able to work it out. Truth. I firmly believe in Newtons 3rd Law of Planetary Motion, "for every action there is an equal and oposite reaction" Fancy scientific way of saying "you reap what you sow." Point is that we are resposible for our reactions. For you men out there, ever watch a sporting event. Things get a little heated, a guy throws a punch, and a guy throws one back. Nine times out of ten the guy who throws the second punch is the one who gets in trouble. Thats the way life is, it is about how we react. When it comes down to it, we are the only ones who control the way we react. So why is it that we blame some else? Because, we are selfish. Plain and simple.

I love you all, especially my parents and my wife's parents for raising us up right...thank you.

couple of funny kid things...

These didn't come from our kids but I thought they were pretty funny...

I will preface this story by saying, hair on the top of my head is a hot commodity. A few sundays back my wife and I had to teach the kindergarten sunday school class. After watching one of the boys dancing around holding himself, I drew the short straw and had to take him to the boys room. I was patiently waiting by the sink, when he got done washing his hands, I handed him a towel. He stood there looking at me kind of puzzled, then said " Your hair hasn't come in yet."

My wife teaches a 3 year old pre-school class. She has a few Chinese children in her class that do not speak very good English. One of them was really excited because when he got home he was going to get to watch T.V.. So the boy told one of his friends, "I am going to get to watch English T.V. when I get home, do you have an English T.V.?" His friend answered, "No, we have a black one."

life at that very moment couldn't be better...

I was on my way home from Columbus the other day, and I got a call from my wife. She said that Josiah was out in the street. We live on a cul-de-sac, so traffic is not an issue in our neighborhood, but the rule is still no playing in the street. So I was a little puzzled as to why my wife was letting him play in the street. She told me he was riding his bike in circles around the island at the end of our street, and then was jumping his bike of the curb when he was coming back into the driveway. Let me preface the rest of the story by saying that I love bicycling, but since the kids, I have kind of given it up. Josiah has been practicing in the back yard. Unfortunately, the sad part is I missed his first time riding on the street with no help. I am telling you though, I couldn't get home fast enough. As soon as I got home, just Josiah and myself went outside, I sat down on the curb and just watched him make no fewer than twenty trips around the circle. Watching that was honestly better than any sporting event I have ever attended, and I have been to some great ones.

I just think it amazing how things like that can have such a strange effect on me as a parent. I have been coaching Josiah's soccer team, which has been a dream of mine since we found out we were having a boy. I find myself getting choked up a bit when he steals a ball or takes of down the field on a breakaway. For a brief second, I get a lump in my throat, shortness of breath and it gets tough to spit out any words. I get excited for him. I can remember what it was like riding my bike with no training wheels for the first time (without getting hurt) and scoring my first goal in soccer. It is just great to see your kids have the same experiences. I am sure when Josiah scores his first goal, I will be letting everyone know about it. If he doesn't, it doesn't matter, but I am sure I will still get that lump in my throat.

Josiahisms continued...

Josiah on God's Age... Josiah was asking questions about age again. This seems to be a very common question, or at least anything dealing with numbers. We have had the discussion about the word infinity before. Josiah was talking about the age of God the other day, he really wanted us to attach a number to it. So we had the discussion about in infinity again, no beginning and no end. I made references to space and he came back with the Buzz Lightyear "to infinity and beyond..." He could grasp the the no end part, little difficulties with the no beginning, but he really thought we should still be able to attach a number to God's "age." I told him "God doesn't have an age like we do." "Daddy" he said, "God is zero." "Why is that?" I asked. "Because zero really isn't a real number." he said.

that's what its all about...

Well I am back to this blog thing again. Josiah had his first trip to the hospital. Both Ella and Josiah's first trips to the hospital they both split the old noodle open...they are definitely my kids. I have a great track record of busting up my head, the thing is just so big. I got the phone call that he had fallen at school and split open his head and that it was pretty bad. Not the words you really want to hear. Fortunately my wonderful bride was still at the school. So Mommy was there for the initial shock factor. Blood everywhere, nice. After I got over the anxiety on my way to the car to fly home meet them at home, so we could take him to the emergency room, the thought actually crossed my mind "hope he didn't get much blood on the school uniform, those shirts are expensive." Now mind you I am not proud of that. That's why I actually confessed that thought, and this is the foundation of my blog today. (Nice transition, I know...)

From the day we found that the stick had the appropriate number of lines to confirm our fears and joy, my perspective has changed a bit. Think of all the little bumps and bruises, heartache, sleepless nights and fears you had a child, we all have lists of stories. Everyday, for Josiah and Ella is one of those days that something like that could happen. My wife and I are the spectators. How our parents must have felt, the trips to the Emergency Room, getting up in the middle of night to take of bad dreams and coughs and sleepless nights. I know now. It breaks your heart, it truly stinks to see your child in pain, but it helps make them who they will become. Everything is just a little stepping stone. The part as a parent I don't like, is that you have to be the strong one. Truth be known, I am a big softie. Grown men do cry...by the way. When Josiah was on the table getting ready to get his stitches, 4 right in the eye brow, which is now swollen to the size of ping pong ball, he asked to hold my hand. I choked up a bit and gave him the normal words of encouragement. I had to put a hold on my emotions while I was watching the Doctor put in the stitches. He was a trooper until the last one. You could tell it hurt. The look of fear and pain on his face indelibly marked in my mind. He is okay and survived his first major stepping stone. Mommy didn't fair to well, she came as close to passing out with out going over. The Doctor was worried more about her than Josiah.
Funny thing about this whole episode, in retrospect I enjoyed this time with our son. I'm not some sicko. Let me explain. My wife and I learned that our son talks just as much when he is in pain than when he feels fine. This experience opened up Josiah to ask questions about Mommy and Daddy's accidents. At one point we were all alone in the Emergency room, the three of us showing off each others scars. He was intently listening to all of Mommy and Daddy's stories. Josiah showing us all his playground scars. At one point I was just sitting by his bed, he was just talking about some incident with one of his little scars and I had an epiphany. I could see clearly, nothing matters but what those little people think of you. When they look back on life, the material things, the toys and house and cars, kids really don't see wealth or status. They can see your true intentions. The number one thing they remember is the time spent. Whether it be having fun or in the hospital. Kids are smarter than we give them credit, sometimes. One of the fondest moments I ever had with my step-Dad was when he took me to the emergency room after I had hurt my hand playing soccer. (I know you are not supposed to use your hands...) I was a senior in high school and he took me to the emergency room at 11:00 at night. He had to get up for work at 3:30 in the morning. I just remember sitting in the waiting room, he was sitting in the chair and I was thinking he must really love me.

Its the number of "I Love you's", unconditional hugs, time spent playing and simply holding their hand that's what its all about. Not going out and buying them the latest toy or DVD. That stuff fades. They still remember "stuff", but when they get older they remember time spent not money. Maybe I'm just some sappy old guy with a couple of kids that have me wrapped around their little fingers, if thats the case...I like where I'm livin.

this drives me crazy...

I hope I am not the only one bothered by this, but when you run a spell check before you post your blog, it always flags the word BLOG as mispelled. Thanks for listening.

advice is like...

I have always thought that whenever someone asks me what I think about whatever it they are asking me about, my opinion is just that an opinion. Take it or leave it. I will not be offendend if you hate it or love it. No harm no foul. I won't be offended by what you think of my opinion and conversely don't be offended by my opinion. Opinions are like moms, everyone has or had one. Just for giggles (I can actually think of better ways of spending my time, but for this exercise just run with me), go through a book store or library. There are more self help and instruction manuals than any other kind of book out there. From how to have perfect children to how time the dual carbs on a vintage Porsche 912. Funny thing is, everyone has had someone raise them (I know not all of us have been fortunate enough to own a vintage Porsche), but my point is if we all sat down and talked about our parents parenting, each had there own very different style. We all survived. There a just so many different perspectives on everything.

Advice is like a drug, not that its addictive, but it has different side effects for different people. So I think that when people take advice from someone else it is that persons responsibility to weed out what works for them and what does not. I generally know how to make my son respond, you know light a spark under his bottom when I need him to be motivated. Most parents know these little tricks. What motivates my son is going to be different than what motivates your son. Thats just the way it is. So I can not judge what you do and you should not judge what I do, because we do not always know the full story. Please don't get me wrong, if I am out in the front yard beating my children with in an inch of their life with a baseball bat, go ahead judge me and beat me with railroad tie. I guess what I am trying to say is that humans have so many different things thrown at us and we all have different ways of dealing with issues. Take a little advice and try it, if it doesn't work try another "drug "and until you find the right one. Because more and likely there is not always a cure, there is just something out there you can mask the pain that just has fewer side effects.

it's the most wonderful time of the year...

I hum a wonderful tune (check out the audio on my profile), and think of this adorable face.LETS GO BLUE!